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[Alright, what the fuck.

First David has this dream about Wade being his old unscarred self, showing up in the motel room and asking David to be his boyfriend.

If that didn't leave him fucking shook enough, he then proceeded to find tiny Deadpool figurines in two places in his apartment. The first he dismissed as something Wade must have left the last time he was here. Cute. He snaps a picture of it. The second one he finds a few days later, reaching for the cereal container atop his refrigerator, and he knows that wasn't there yesterday.]

Heyyyy. You wouldn't happen to have broken into my apartment again, would you?

That depends.

[ Wade has a habit of leaving little easter eggs wherever he lays down roots. At Blind Al's, there were numerous figurines all over every available surface. At home it was very much the same. Playful fingerprints like those he sucks on his skin but with more permanence. ]

I take it you found something interesting?

Mmhmm, I sure did. A couple of little Elf on the Shelfs painted like your suit.

Weird how they show up even when I haven't seen you in a few days.

Would it help if I said I saw you?

[ Probably not, considering it probably means that he snuck into David's apartment while he was sleeping. Which is 100% true. ]

They're not ruining your aesthetic, are they?

Hmm, no it would not.

They're very cute. Stop breaking into my apartment.

[He should leave it at that probably, but he has to know.]

Have you had any weird dreams lately?

sigh, okay.
as you wish.

[ He's not thrilled with the request, but he'll try to abide by it. If David doesn't want him breaking into his apartment, he should... probably stop. Or at least stop leaving evidence. ]

Weird dreams? What do you mean?

[ Wade knows EXACTLY what he's asking about, but he wants to tease out more detail, let him squirm a little. ]

Thank you 💕

[Once again, David feels like he should be more bothered by this? Like, he is bothered but not enough to not want to date Wade. Hence, the dream.]

I had a dream about you.
A few nights ago. It was kind of wild.
You were...I guess the way you looked before?

[ Wade knows the kind of dream he had. He had more than a hand in it, he didn't take any time to lie or craft the dream into anything he wanted. All he did was show him how he used to be, flirted with him.

He tries to send him as much of his feelings without making him do too much. But also, he isn't about to make it easy for him. ]

I know I, I keep dreaming about you... so I have to ask. What did we do? In this dream we had?

[ He knows, he knows and he wants to hear it from him anyway. ]

What did we do? Oh, lots of things. On my sister's bed.
I don't know if that's what you really looked like or if it was just my brain making things up but....hot damn.
And yeah that's basically it.
...It felt super real though.

Okay, so you’re talking about the one where I asked you to be my boyfriend.

Are you fucking kidding me
How did you
What?? How

apparently that's a thing I can do now
when I'm transformed, I mean
Also, what's weird is I could have sworn transformations lasted a good two days longer last month.

more importantly, you said yes
...is that still a yes

Okayyyy
[Please hold while David has a mini-crisis about his own dream, which he'd felt weird about because he thought he was projecting his own feelings onto Wade. He felt like an asshole when he woke up for dreaming about him without his mutation. But now that it's not on him anymore...]

It's still a yes.
So you just wanted to...pop into my head and show me a nice time, huh?

[ In hindsight, Wade probably should have asked first. But, as usual, this crazy wheelbarrow full of cancer didn't think it through. Thank god he hasn't somehow sabotaged himself out of something really wonderful. ]

I really, really did.
It was really nice for me, felt good to be comfortable in my own skin again.

You usually make me feel that way regardless
which I... realize I've never told you before.

[Once again, in what is becoming a startlingly familiar conversation in his head, David feels like he should probably be mad about this. But it was a really good dream. Nothing bad happened in it. A lot of good things happened in it. So why spoil what was ultimately a good thing? His boundaries are being tested astonishingly often with Wade, but maybe...maybe that's what he needs? Someone to push his buttons a little. Push him a little more out of his comfort zone. Whatever it is, it's working so far.]

It was good to see you that way. Comfortable, I mean.

I do?

[That gets him reeling a little. He'd never self-describe as someone who goes out of their way to make other people feel comfortable. He certainly hasn't tried to do it for Wade. But somehow he's done it anyway? He's just been treating him like...someone he cares for. Someone worthy of his attention and affection. But god, it makes him feel good to hear that. It's disgustingly warm and fuzzy.

[ Likewise, David manages him, has Wade wrapped around his finger so tight that it tempers his crazy. David is good for Wade in this respect — and as an added bonus, is doing the rest of this planet a solid. An unattached, unhinged Deadpool is a disaster waiting to happen without the people he cares about, which kind of sums up the first few acts of Deadpool 2. ]

You really, really do.
It's one of the reasons I'm so crazy about you.

[Crazy about you. Jesus, the way that makes a flush immediately crawl up David's neck is ridiculous. David has to put his phone down and take a lap around his kitchen just to regain his composure.]

Crazy is an understatement.
Want to get dinner soon?

[ And that drawn-out silence makes Wade keenly aware of how hard his heart is beating. He taps out a response really quickly. ]

I was thinking of getting take-out, eventually.

[ But okay, he shouldn't tease. Wade knows what he's suggesting. He just can't help himself, because David asking him on a date is new, and while not a mind-blowing leap of logic, it sure as hell feels good. ]

David...
Are you asking me on a date?

Yes, I'm asking you on a date.
You're my boyfriend, after all. 🙄

[He can't resist sassing Wade right back. But it also distracts from the way his stomach is fucking churning right now. His finger hovers over the 'send' button for a second, before he rolls his eyes at himself and presses it.]

[ God, it's embarrassing how delighted Wade feels being called that. ]

I'm never going to get tired of hearing that.

What time am I picking you up?
If you leave it up to me, I'd just come over now.
And that's just asking for trouble
Unless you want to be on the menu.😘

[ Because he'd eat him alive. Sexily. ]

You're cute.

I have things to do tonight and sadly none of them are you.
Tomorrow night at 8?

I know you are but what am I?

[ Real mature, Wade. ]

8pm, tomorrow. Dress code? The mask pretty much goes with anything.

Casual. What are your thoughts on burgers?

[ Wade considers slipping in a Bob's Burgers joke, but the writers of that fame are currently working the script of Deadpool 3, so best not to tempt fate. ]

I've bought one out of a vending machine in Singapore, still haven't met a burger I didn't like.
Is this a favorite of yours or someplace new?

So glad we agree on that.
I've never tried this place but I've been craving like a really juicy burger.

This would technically be our third date, right?

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