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Are you fucking kidding me
How did you
What?? How

apparently that's a thing I can do now
when I'm transformed, I mean
Also, what's weird is I could have sworn transformations lasted a good two days longer last month.

more importantly, you said yes
...is that still a yes

Okayyyy
[Please hold while David has a mini-crisis about his own dream, which he'd felt weird about because he thought he was projecting his own feelings onto Wade. He felt like an asshole when he woke up for dreaming about him without his mutation. But now that it's not on him anymore...]

It's still a yes.
So you just wanted to...pop into my head and show me a nice time, huh?

[ In hindsight, Wade probably should have asked first. But, as usual, this crazy wheelbarrow full of cancer didn't think it through. Thank god he hasn't somehow sabotaged himself out of something really wonderful. ]

I really, really did.
It was really nice for me, felt good to be comfortable in my own skin again.

You usually make me feel that way regardless
which I... realize I've never told you before.

[Once again, in what is becoming a startlingly familiar conversation in his head, David feels like he should probably be mad about this. But it was a really good dream. Nothing bad happened in it. A lot of good things happened in it. So why spoil what was ultimately a good thing? His boundaries are being tested astonishingly often with Wade, but maybe...maybe that's what he needs? Someone to push his buttons a little. Push him a little more out of his comfort zone. Whatever it is, it's working so far.]

It was good to see you that way. Comfortable, I mean.

I do?

[That gets him reeling a little. He'd never self-describe as someone who goes out of their way to make other people feel comfortable. He certainly hasn't tried to do it for Wade. But somehow he's done it anyway? He's just been treating him like...someone he cares for. Someone worthy of his attention and affection. But god, it makes him feel good to hear that. It's disgustingly warm and fuzzy.

[ Likewise, David manages him, has Wade wrapped around his finger so tight that it tempers his crazy. David is good for Wade in this respect — and as an added bonus, is doing the rest of this planet a solid. An unattached, unhinged Deadpool is a disaster waiting to happen without the people he cares about, which kind of sums up the first few acts of Deadpool 2. ]

You really, really do.
It's one of the reasons I'm so crazy about you.

[Crazy about you. Jesus, the way that makes a flush immediately crawl up David's neck is ridiculous. David has to put his phone down and take a lap around his kitchen just to regain his composure.]

Crazy is an understatement.
Want to get dinner soon?

[ And that drawn-out silence makes Wade keenly aware of how hard his heart is beating. He taps out a response really quickly. ]

I was thinking of getting take-out, eventually.

[ But okay, he shouldn't tease. Wade knows what he's suggesting. He just can't help himself, because David asking him on a date is new, and while not a mind-blowing leap of logic, it sure as hell feels good. ]

David...
Are you asking me on a date?

Yes, I'm asking you on a date.
You're my boyfriend, after all. 🙄

[He can't resist sassing Wade right back. But it also distracts from the way his stomach is fucking churning right now. His finger hovers over the 'send' button for a second, before he rolls his eyes at himself and presses it.]

[ God, it's embarrassing how delighted Wade feels being called that. ]

I'm never going to get tired of hearing that.

What time am I picking you up?
If you leave it up to me, I'd just come over now.
And that's just asking for trouble
Unless you want to be on the menu.😘

[ Because he'd eat him alive. Sexily. ]

You're cute.

I have things to do tonight and sadly none of them are you.
Tomorrow night at 8?

I know you are but what am I?

[ Real mature, Wade. ]

8pm, tomorrow. Dress code? The mask pretty much goes with anything.

Casual. What are your thoughts on burgers?

[ Wade considers slipping in a Bob's Burgers joke, but the writers of that fame are currently working the script of Deadpool 3, so best not to tempt fate. ]

I've bought one out of a vending machine in Singapore, still haven't met a burger I didn't like.
Is this a favorite of yours or someplace new?

So glad we agree on that.
I've never tried this place but I've been craving like a really juicy burger.

This would technically be our third date, right?

Technically, yes.
That night all hell broke loose doesn't count, although I would argue there were some romantic overtures in parts.

[ Okay, maybe 90% of that night was a mish-mash of nightmarish and sexually charged. 10% of it romantic if you're being really liberal with the term, which he is. He does remember that David's recollection of the events of that night is a bit fuzzy. ]

Why do you ask?

Oh no, we're not counting that.

Well, you said something about hello kitty handcuffs being a third date thing
So I was just wondering if that was on the table.

Edited (forgot a word) 2021-11-14 01:46 (UTC)

[ Cue Wade's panic when he realizes he should have totally bought one of those summoning stones so he could bring those cuffs! ]

oh my god

okay so I don't have those cuffs yet
but I definitely have you covered on restraints

follow-up q: what material do you prefer? I got your standard steel handcuffs, silk rope, leather cuffs and binders, duct tape, fuzzy cuffs...

I can't believe I was lied to like this?
Tsk tsk.

Leather. Nice leather.

I know, I'll make it up to you, I promise.

...Who's wearing these?

[ Wade remembers what he'd said the first time he showed up at his apartment, but that was a different time, and right now he's keen on doting on his boyfriend's every whim. ]

Damn right you will.

[God, he is in his ELEMENT right now.]

Guess we'll see what kind of mood we're in tomorrow 😈

[ He's so going back to that boutique that sold him that rose-themed ball gag. ]

🍆 You really know how to motivate me, don't you?

I do have one teensy-tiny request.

Oh yeah?
What's that?

Do you... have a bath tub?

Sure do. Surprised you hadn't noticed on your many forays into my apartment.

Why?

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