zhampagne | ic inbox

[ Speaking of gay, this might be the most authentically homosexual thing anyone's ever said to him. Is this the day Matt finally became queer??? ]

I'd be honored

ok so

this morning i woke up and my friend had rearranged my living room. he told me it was time for my annual review and then he had me write a literal report of all the bad decisions/bad things that've happened to me in the past

idk few months

while calling him sir

and when i fucked up he excoriated my handwriting and eventually made me balance a coffee service on my back while reciting lines

so now I'm lying here on the floor just. mind blown.

(there's more context about this guy that feels important)

[Oh Matt. Oh honey.]

That sounds incredibly kinky. He didn’t touch you at all? Just punished you and left?

I’m definitely going to need more context.

he kicked at my leg to get my feet further apart one time and that is *it*

[ Matt's glad that David's backing up his main emotion here, which is "this was extremely kinky." It's really good to have that validated. There's a bit of a pause between messages, though, as Matt tries to figure out context. ]

he and I are taking a break from having sex. I don't know if it'll be a permanent one, but

[ Matt fully intends to anonymize Simon as much as possible here, but he also doesn't want to make him sound like a jerk. Except with things like rearranging Matt's furniture and truly eviscerating his paper-writing. ]

he comes from a pretty repressive society. Not that mine isn't, just

Wow. He must have some exceptional self-control.

[David isn't sure he'd have any kind of restraint in a situation like that, but then again David is a hedonist.]

Mm, I see. Interesting. Sounds like he's working through some shit?

[ Maybe he's just not that attracted to me, Matt's about to suggest. But a niggling at the back of his mind stops him, so he starts typing something else. ]

Yeah. I didn't realize how much at first, until he like

basically straight-up said that he had been trying to *not* have sex with me

kept telling himself he wouldn't

and then we'd sleep together anyway

[Oh. It's even more dire than David thought.]

On one hand, that's weirdly flattering? Like he's clearly really attracted to you.

On the other hand it's unfortunately also deeply insulting, like, those are thoughts best kept to one's self.

well, to be fair, there was a time a few months back when everybody's innermost awful thoughts kind of

manifested

[ And it was 100% Simon and not the manifestation that said the "failing not to have sex with you" thing, but it was in the same afternoon so #countit? ]

but it definitely meant that we both were like, okay, let's put a pause on sex while the issues get worked through, and just be friends.

I have pretty good self-control too, so I felt like that was doable.

and then

uh

all of this

oh
yeah that sounds about right

so you both agreed not to have sex and then he showed up in your house and dominated you
and made you list all your bad decisions?

[He's burningly curious as to what those bad decisions were and whether or not their hookup was one of them, but that doesn't feel important to ask right now. Maybe later.]

and this just happened?
i regret to inform you that he might have been under the influence of magical bullshit again
considering that my beau and i both had a weird dream which led directly to him keeping me tied up in his apartment for 5 days

OH

oh my gosh

That makes a lot of sense.

I'm surprised I didn't think of that right away

[ Okay Matt but how much thinking have you done cumulatively today.

... Also, five days? Clearly David was like, properly hydrated throughout or he'd be texting from the hospital, but Jesus Christ. ]

he seemed pretty normal, but I guess he's also never broken into my house

also

okay

this is gonna sound mean

Yeah it was. Intense. I literally didn't even want to leave.

[David hears 'mean' and all the dopamine centers in his brain light up like a Christmas tree.]

Oh my god please I love it tell me

[...'Never broken into my house' should be a big red flag but David's boyfriend has done it to him multiple times now. Oops.]

[ "Literally didn't want to leave" plus five d a y s sounds--well, Matt's ambivalent. It sounds like some Noctian influence would have to be involved, except that he can see himself having a similar reaction in that scenario. No alien planet weirdness required. ]

Okay, well, so the first time we had penetrative sex I grabbed some lube and he said

"what are we going to do with that"

so like

how could he have come up with this scene???? I assumed it was like some jungian thing where a part of the homoerotic unconscious just KNEW?

[David physically winces at that one.]

Oh god
Yeah, no, I see your point

Either he's just naturally talented at BDSM dynamics orrrrrrr it was the magic bullshit
Maybe you should ask him if he had any dreams about, like, sexy Krampus women.

[ That's a strangely specific dream. ]

I know this sounds crazy given everything I've just said

but I'm kind of hesitant to put the word 'sexy' next to these events for him

just in case it like

worsens his emotional journey

I see your point.

Are you going to say anything to him about it? Or just let it stew?

I might mention that I appreciated it on the level of

I think as a friend, he genuinely does want me to have better experiences and make good choices

Hmmm

I guess it's like. Platonic kink?
That's valid, I can get behind that.

He sounds like the kind of person who might appreciate a nicely-written thank you card.

roflmao!

wait that's a great point too

okay, I'll contemplate how I want to do that. I'd have to get my handwriting PERFECT

[ A slight pause between messages. Then: ]

Hey, can I ask some followup questions about this five day period you spent tied up?

Oooh that's such a bratty comeback, I love it.

[The follow-up message makes him laugh, smirking down at his phone as he types.]

I was gonna be kind of insulted if you didn't.

[ Matt didn't think it was bratty! But to be fair, that's probably part of how he keeps getting himself into these intractable sex-adjacent situations. ]

Well PLEASE tell me everything you feel comfortable sharing

[Sending a thank you card in impeccable handwriting to the person who insulted your handwriting while ordering you around is a brat move, he'll stand by that.]

Oh my god okay so
My partner Wade and I both woke up after having the same freaky dream, right? Except he woke up wanting to dominate the shit out of someone, and I woke up all needy and submissive
So he came over and collared me, whipped me, and then fucked me on every piece of furniture in my bedroom
And that just sort of led to him taking me to his place and spending the days leading up to Brumfast making me his little sex toy.

For the record I wasn't tied up the entire time, but it's been a few days and I am still fucking wrecked and unable to walk straight.

[ No, David's right and he should say it.

Meanwhile ... wow this is a lot. Kind of like the XXL version of the time he tied Liem up and they talked about a similar just-my-little-toy scenario. Matt was already feeling hot under the collar, but now his mouth is distinctly dry. ]

That sounds like a really good time to be honest

congratulations and my sympathies

[ A pause. ]

I don't know if I knew you had a partner/bf?

[ That'd have to be recent, right? It feels like yesterday that Matt was showing David around Sumarlok brunch spots, answering questions. Also, he assumes they're open but now might be a good time to check. ]

Oh it was a REALLY good time
and then he woke me up the next day and like, doted on me to make up for all the rough treatment.

[This conversation is really making him feel like he and Matt are kindred, slutty spirits.]

Oh yeah I guess I never mentioned. For like a month and some change. His name is Wade.
It's an open relationship, for the record.

[ They are truly on the same thirsty wavelength. ]

That sounds really good of him 🥰 [ And, you know, mandatory, but Matt can acknowledge that we don't live in a perfect aftercare universe. ] And ahaha, good to know

That's so nice, though! I hope I get to meet him sometime

[ In his heart, Matt's feeling a little weird about this? Not because David's dating someone, but just ... Matt's been here way longer, and to his name, he's got one breakup, a deeply complicated friend breakup and platonic (?) kink situation, an agreement to have coffee regularly with a beautiful girl, and the position of Nikolai's sexual runner-up.

It's just a little lonely. ]

Oh, you have to meet him. He's the definition of a wildcard, but if you can get past the constant, near-unintelligible pop culture references and the complete lack of a filter in any sense, he's a really sweet guy.

[Glowing praise from David, honestly.]

That aside...I'd love to catch up with you soon. After the holiday, maybe?

Consider me warned. I can't wait. 😊

[ Not that he knows David super well, but from this description, he can imagine the pair of them being formidable in conversation. Probably fun to third-wheel for, though. Like watching a ping-pong match. ]

And catching up sounds really nice. All this talking about being tied up for days and

like

my entire morning

has me thinking fond thoughts about the BDSM zone

(We can also catch up in a nonsexual way, I'd enjoy that also.)

ic inbox | noctium

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