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[zhampagne]

« d.rose » TEXT ✧ AUDIO ✧ VIDEO ✧ ACTION DAVID ROSE ✦ schitt's creek
RESIDENCE ✦ emerald district, sumarlok
GEMBOND ✦ amethyst

"This is David. Leave a message. Or don't.

INFO ✧ PERMISSIONS ✧ KINKLIST ✧ HMD

Comments

un: d.rose

[zhampagne]

[David reads that text like six times, because he truly doesn't know where to start.]

Yes, that was fun. I'd love if I could let you into my apartment myself the next time.

Pretty sure I'd know if I was romancing Ryan Reynolds, my sister dated him for four months in between Scarlett and Blake.

...I'm not going to ask questions.

[zipit_thanos]

[ Ooooh. Awkward. Deadpool decides to not touch that possibility that somewhere in the multiverse he may have boned siblings. ]

that's probably for the best

[ Hopefully David didn't wipe anything down with that, just saying. ]

was thinking about you and thought I'd check in

[zhampagne]

[It's cool it's fine he's just going to wash his hands eighteen times now!]

Well thanks. For doing that. I had a lot of fun with you. I haven't had three orgasms in under an hour since Burning Man six years ago.

Also, can we talk about this?

[What follows is an impeccably-lit selfie of the underside of David's ass cheek, where there is a fucking LURID purple bite mark-bruise.]

[zipit_thanos]

yeah, that was pretty amazing

[ WOW, that's a lot worse than Wade thought it was going to turn out. He actually yells out ouch, but no one's around to hear it. ]

I'm gonna need you to send me a few more shots of that at different angles

[ God, he has such a nice ass. ]

[zhampagne]

Oh so you're not just hungry, you're thirsty too?
You send me one first. Fair's fair.

[zipit_thanos]

you want a tasteful nude of me? didn't know you were a masochist

[ Ha-ha. ]

so what would you like to discuss?
I assume you're not interested in an offer to make it a matching set

[zhampagne]

I don’t consider that masochistic, but whatever you want to call it is fine.

I’m not

not-interested in that.

I mostly want you to know that you’re on thin fucking ice and you’re extremely lucky the one on my neck isn’t that dark.

[He hopes his tone comes across the way he wants it to, which is “playfully threatening but also seriously threatening.”]

[zipit_thanos]

[ Oh god, he completely forgot about that. ]

can you send a snap of that one too?

[zhampagne]

[David just sends back a picture of the love bite on his neck, right next to his hand which is flipping Wade the bird.]

[zipit_thanos]

[ Ugh. Wade's going to take a moment to gently put the face of his device over his heart. Okay, okay. He can't leave David on read. ]

yes I can
oh wait that probably wasn't intended to be an invitation

...it doesn't hurt, does it?

[zhampagne]

No, it doesn't hurt. Thankfully I have a plethora of skincare products to reduce swelling and a good concealer.

Just keep them below the collar next time, ok?

[zipit_thanos]

I meant the one on your delectable ass

[ Wait, what — Did he just read that right? ]

next time?

[zhampagne]

[Delectable. That’s a new one.]

oh. A little bit but it’s fine.

Um. Yes? You completely rocked my shit the other day, I certainly hope there’s a next time.

[zipit_thanos]

[ Wade almost drops his device. He ends up typing like he's suffering a stroke. ]

so, pink aura aside, that
you
you're swiping right

no clowning?

[zhampagne]

It would be super fucked up of me to joke about that
Yes. Firm right swipe. On the condition that you’re not going to murder me.

[zipit_thanos]

I mean that kinda depends on how high the reward on you is but I think I can control my murderous tendencies

[ Did he ever get around to telling him he's actually a contract killer? Hmm, best not to spoil the moment. Better probably to wait until things get really complicated. ]

are you doing anything tomorrow night?

[ You know, the night things really start to go to shit? Sounds like a perfect time for a date. ]

[zhampagne]

I appreciate your restraint.

Nothing yet. What did you have in mind?

[Certainly nothing upsetting will happen!!]

[zipit_thanos]

I can bring over a bottle of wine, the hello kitty cuffs and we can try a few safe words on for size

just kidding, the cuffs are more of a third date thing

[zhampagne]

Sounds downright romantic. I’m in. Be here at eight?

[zipit_thanos]

Absolutely, I'll see you then ❤️

[ Cue excited fist-pumping into the air that startles anyone who sees it. He calms down when he realizes he almost yeet'd his phone across the room. ]

[zhampagne]

[David stares at that heart for approximately ten minutes, trying to suss out exactly how it makes him feel. His reply is so short you could almost miss it:]

xo

god my starter for that is awful but HERE WE GO

[zipit_thanos]

[ Don't you fucking worry, David Rose, that little xo doesn't go unnoticed, but he sure as FUCK keeps glancing at it for the next 24 hours. It's also the inspiration for how he accessorized for the date that doesn't end up happening.

For reasons. ]