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[zhampagne]

« d.rose » TEXT ✧ AUDIO ✧ VIDEO ✧ ACTION DAVID ROSE ✦ schitt's creek
RESIDENCE ✦ emerald district, sumarlok
GEMBOND ✦ amethyst

"This is David. Leave a message. Or don't.

INFO ✧ PERMISSIONS ✧ KINKLIST ✧ HMD

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[zhampagne]

Oh, you know. A lot of texture. Mixed textiles, thrifted pieces, lots of art. Nothing too matchy-matchy, but still cohesive.

[He talks like someone who has read a lot of books and articles about interior design, because he has. He pauses in his mission to rid the coffee table of its foam and plastic prison to take a drink of his beer.]

Normally I'm not a beer guy, but this isn't bad, actually.

[bigfootfetish]

Let me guess: You drink wine.

[ This isn't sarcastic, believe it or not. Setting his own beer on his new dining table - what was that about coasters? - he balls up some plastic and freethrows it neatly into the kitchen trash can. He shoots, he scores. ]

So this stuff. What would you call it? Design-wise.

[zhampagne]

Or gin. Or vodka.

[Tequila if he's in the mood to make bad decisions, but thankfully those days are largely behind him.]

Mmm, most of this I'd call 'mid-century modern', which is wild because we're on a completely different planet. Most of the design here seems stuck firmly in Art Deco, which, don't get me wrong. It has a place. But I'd never do someone's entire place in Art Deco.

[He shrugs, sips his beer.] Looks too matchy-matchy.

[bigfootfetish]

[ Mulder, meanwhile, is enough of a lightweight - despite his size - to mostly stick to beer. Gotta be sober or your UFO sighting doesn't count. ]

Interesting. See, when I picture the middle of the twentieth century - that's the one we're talking about, right? - I'm picturing a lot more lamps that look like vases and heavy chintz drapes.

[ Is he describing his childhood home, don't worry about it. ]

[zhampagne]

Oh, mmhmm, that's the one. [David leans against the still-wrapped sofa.] Hence the addition of modern. In 2016 it's all the range. Clean lines with all the, um, chintz.

[He pats the arm of the sofa.] Ready to move this baby into place?

[bigfootfetish]

So if I don't like it, wait twenty years.

[ Which is less a commentary on what he thinks of the place, and more the neatness of the numbers - he just showed up from 1996. Whether that's evident is hard to say, though; everything he says sounds deadpan at this point.

Anyway, the couch. He gets to the other side of it. ]

Okay, which wall?

[zhampagne]

[A grim little smile.] Exactly. God, it's so weird that you and Dana are from the nineties. I was, like nine years old in your time.

[He nods his head toward the space under the window.]

Right over there. One, two, three—

[Thankfully the sofa is not as heavy as it could be. It is, however, upholstered in a very nice taupe-y velvet.]

[bigfootfetish]

You're making me feel old, Rose. Next thing, you'll tell me you weren't born 'til after the Beatles broke up.

[ The very idea of a velvet couch is baffling to him. He can't bring himself to hate it, if only because it feels great under his hands, but who the hell owns a velvet couch? Outside of great-aunts living in houses too large for them, houses full of the kinds of antiques their relatives don't actually want to inherit. ]

These are really 'in' once you hit 2016?

[ He sounds dubious. ]

[zhampagne]

Um, 1987. But my dad's actually, like, really good friends with Ringo, so.

[Just a casual namedrop while he relishes making Fox Mulder feel old. David hums thoughtfully.]

Mmm, sort of? But I prefer to dictate trends rather than follow them.

[bigfootfetish]

1987? You could be my kid.

[ He was at Quantico in 1987. He's pretty sure his partner'd already taken Einstein to task for his theory of relativity. Too bad he's from 1996, or he could call Scully a cougar. ]

And the trend you have in mind here is 'I inherited Great-Aunt Minerva's furniture.'

[zhampagne]

Oh, your eyebrows aren't nearly imposing enough to be my father.

[He scowls at the insult to his taste, wrinkling his nose.]

Um, I think you meant to say timeless investment pieces. Which is what they are, thank you.

[bigfootfetish]

You're right, they don't take up half my face.

[ Lightly said, but all the same, his desire to be nice to Scully's friend (with benefits) is, uh. Waning. ]

Hey, Great-Aunt Minerva's furniture held up, I'm not denying that. I just don't see a lot of velvet, where I'm from.

[zhampagne]

Mmm. Hilarious.

[He's so clever. So very clever. David's heard it all, and it doesn't really faze him anymore. He happens to like his strong brows, thanks very much!]

Well, you're from a time that was tragically lacking in a lot of places, aesthetically speaking, so I can hardly blame you. Would you rather I put in a nice orange plaid sofa? Throw a granny square afghan over the top?

[You know, really go full Roseanne on it.]